


Educational Decree Number 31

by Nocturnal_Fairy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Kissing, McGonagall is a badass, Multi, Snogging, honsetly fuck umbridge, im british so let me have my five period timetable, no beta we die like cedric, we stan mcgonagall in this house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Fairy/pseuds/Nocturnal_Fairy
Summary: Educational Decree number 31:Boys and girls are not permitted within 8 inches of each other.George looked at Fred with a grin; their eyes sparkled and they seemed to communicate telepathically. Other 7th years stared at them terrified. The twins could cause so much chaos whilst completely complying with the rules, the students were wondering what the hell they would be able to do with this restriction.
Relationships: Angelina Johnson & Lee Jordan & George Weasley & Fred Weasley, Angelina Johnson/George Weasley, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson & Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Fred Weasley & George Weasley, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Lee Jordan & Fred Weasley & George Weasley, Lee Jordan/Fred Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 402





	Educational Decree Number 31

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How to troll Educational Decree number 31](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10516671) by [MinnieTheMoocherDA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinnieTheMoocherDA/pseuds/MinnieTheMoocherDA). 



Educational Decree number 31:

Boys and girls are not permitted within 8 inches of each other.

George looked at Fred with a grin; their eyes sparkled and they seemed to communicate telepathically. Other 7th years stared at them terrified. The twins could cause so much chaos whilst completely complying with the rules, the students were wondering what the hell they would be able to do with this restriction.

* * *

George hurried over to Lee, he knew that his best mate would be completely on board with his plan. “Oi Lee!” He looked up from his parchment, “So you’ve seen Um-Bitch’s latest decree right?”

“Yeah…”

“Freddie and I have a plan to fuck with it, you in?”

“Fuck Yeah.”

“Ron!” George ran over to his brother and his friends. “Harry, Hermione.” He had their attention and they looked at him curiously. “The toad has a new decree. We’ve got a plan to fuck with her and it, we need your help” The trio had huge grins on their faces, delighted at the opportunity to screw with the high inquisitor. “Right then George, explain...”

“Gin!” The twins called out simultaneously, She turned to look at them as they quickly caught up with her. “We need your help screwing with the high and mighty one.” 

“I’m in what do you need.” The three siblings shared a menacing grin that looked to the outside world like they’d just committed a murder. 

“Seamus, d’you want to get with Dean and Fuck with Um-Bitch?” 

“Yes. Is tha’ even a question?”

“Well, we have a plan you’ll like”

In all, it took the twins three days to set their plan in motion, it was now the day of the great plan and it would begin with Fred and Lee. “You ready Freddie?”

“Course I am, what d’you take me for?”

They entered the great hall and Lee saw them almost immediately. “Fred!” He called out in a loud voice. He ran full tilt to his friend, grabbed his face and kissed him. Fred kissed back whilst his hands snaked around Lee’s hips. They Kissed each other hungrily and far more passionately than either intended.

Wolf whistles and cheers came from the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, George had a smug grin on his face, as he went and sat down with Angelina. “You knew they liked each other.” She muttered to him.

“And what of it? I set my brother up and I get back at Um-Bitch for not letting me touch my girlfriend.” He grabbed her hand under the table and smiled at her.

“Hasn’t stopped you though has it?”

Fred and Lee rejoined the Griffindor after a moment. “George you sly dog, you set me up!” Fred hissed at him. 

“Yes, but I set you up with your crush so you should really be thanking me.” Lee slapped the back of Fred’s head “Shut up and be nice. He got us to stop pining.” Angelina snorted, “Pining? You guys were more than pining, honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long.” The four chuckled at the comment and smiled, this was going to be a fun day.

The other people in on the plan knew that Fred and Lee’s ‘kiss’ was their signal to start. The first period finished and the students were taking as long as possible to go to their next class and just by pure luck Ginny and Luna were heading to their period two class when the distinctive click of the Hogwart’s High Inquisitor’s shoes was heard. Ginny looked at Luna before pinning her to the nearest wall in a heated kiss, Luna pressed back almost immediately her hands tangling in Ginny’s fiery red hair. The redhead’s hands wandered and she managed to elicit a moan from the blonde. She took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. 

The crowd that had formed was whistling, cheering and chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Umbridge’s gasp could be heard over the crowd. Everybody went silent and the two girls separated. “What is going on here?” Her high-pitched squeaky voice shook with rage. “You know that sort of behaviour is not allowed.” Ginny sniggered.

“But Miss, we’re both girls that rule states that its  _ boys and girls _ that aren’t allowed to be within eight inches of each other.” The ‘teacher’ was astounded, and whilst she stood the shell shocked the student went to their lessons. 

* * *

Then came break. In the courtyard, the very space Umbridge was supervising, Ron and blaze were in a heated argument. Nobody quite knew what was going on apart from the fact they were incredibly close and shouting. Umbridge always favoured the Slytherins and let them shout it out. That was until the ginger grabbed Blaize’s tie and pulled him into a kiss. It was instantly returned and the pair seemed to forget about the people watching them.

The hand that wasn’t on Blaize’s tie went to his head, to push them both further into the kiss. Ron was mightily enjoying himself as evident from the smirk on his face. Blaize had let his hands snake around Ron’s waist, one was slowly sneaking lower as the boys explored each other’s mouths with their tongues.

Harry called out from the cheering crowd, “Get ‘im, Ron!” His shout pulled Um-Bitch back to reality. She scuttled over to the snogging teens and magicked them apart. “You have caused a disturbance! I will be giving you both a detention for that.” She had clearly learnt her lesson from earlier in the day. “Worth it,” Ron said, Blaize proceeded to smack him around the back of the head.

* * *

Seamus waited until he heard Umbridge coming before pushing dean against a bookcase. They had been in a study session with several 5th years and they were grabbing books for the group when Seamus decided to put his part of the plan into action. It was originally going to happen before 4th period which didn’t start for another 45 minutes, but she was here it was fairly public and who cares? He gets to kiss Dean.

They locked lips and not 5 seconds later Umbridge was shrieking like a cheap kazoo. 

“But Miss, we didn’t break the rules. We are perfectly within our right to do this.” Dean said, he had interrupted her rant and she looked pissed but accepted defeat. 

When she walked off the two teens shared a grin and were about to kiss again before a cough from behind them made them turn. “She won’t bother you again today but don’t let anybody catch you again.” McGonagall left and the two grabbed the books and ran back to their study group. 

“What happened? We heard the Toad ™ shouting.” Dean grinned and slung his arm around Seamus’s shoulders. “Seamus kissed me.” Ernie and Parvati shared a look, Lavender and Padma squealed, and Justin just looked shocked. 

“What’s been going on today? First Fred and Lee snog in the great hall, then Loony and the ginger girl, then  _ Blaize and Ron _ who saw that coming-”

“-I did Ernie you haven’t heard him pine-” Seamus interjected.

“-now you two, all of you kissed right in front of Um-Bitch™ something’s going on.”

“Right I can explain this.” The table turned to look at Seamus. “So you’ve seen Decree 31 right,” they nodded, “ okay so the twins came up with this plan to fuck with her. Pretty much we have as many willing same-sex couples as possible kiss in front of her. I was supposed to wait until between third and fourth but she was here I was with Dean, said fuck it and kissed him.” They all looked shocked. This was probably the craziest stunt that the twins had pulled off in all their time at Hogwarts. “So you and Dean are dating now?” They nodded, “Lav you owe me 5 galleons, its November.” Lavender reluctantly handed five galleons to Padma.

* * *

Students were slowly wandering into the great hall for lunch. “Do I have to Ron?” Hermione whined. “If I could kiss Blaize you can kiss Pansy.” Harry snorted,

“ I wouldn’t have called that a kiss Ron buddy… It was more like a short snog sesh.” Ron went to smack Harry but was stopped by Blaize. “He has a point babe. Also, they’ll be here soon, so watch out.” The four of them waited for a bit before Blaize waved over Draco and Pansy.

“ Why are you hanging out with these people?” Draco asked not quite so politely.

“I’m with my  _ boyfriend  _ and his friends. Do you have a problem with that?” Draco shook his head. Hermione was standing awkwardly next to Pansy, but then she heard the signature sound of Um-Bitch™’s steps and grabbed pansy’s hand. She pushed Pansy into the wall and kissed her. The kiss was returned and they ended up in a pretty heated snog. It didn’t last that long though because the human toad had arrived and looked ready to commit homicide.

The once cheering corridor was silent, Dean and Seamus were begging for McGonagall to show, Lee and Fred, were ready to jump in should anything happen, Blaize and Ron stood close to the pair prepared to become human shields, and Ginny and Luna had their wands out, why, they couldn’t tell you they just felt safer like that. 

Umbridge was glaring at Pansy and Hermione, “Girls. My office. Now.” Her voice was calm and sickly sweet. “Professor, if they’re going to your office so should we!” Dean called from the crowd. He and Seamus had stepped forward. Then Ginny and Luna stepped forward “So should we Miss.” Fred and Lee stood with them nodding their heads vigorously. Ron looked at Blaize, “Wasn’t how I wanted to spend lunch but well, shit happens I guess” 

The toad™ stared at the group silent rage bubbling beneath the surface, her hand clutched her horrible pink handbag. She stood as tall as her stubby legs and short back would let her. “Right then. All of you with me, I am very disappointed in you Miss Parkinson, and you Mr Zabini.” 

“One moment Miss” Draco stopped her before she could move, he glanced at Harry and pulled him into a kiss. Somebody wolf-whistled as the two kiss furiously for a minute before pulling apart, their faces flushed. “Guess we’re going to Professor,” Harry said after catching his breath. 

* * *

“How do we explain this to our parents?”

“Mine are dead!” Draco slapped him and the others laughed. Blaize seemed deep in thought and Pansy was snogging Hermione. “Father is going to be pissed when I tell him.” 

“So you just don’t tell him.”

“Mother will find out, she’s an incredible legilimens.” 

“Don’t go home?” Ron thought for a moment.

“You three could stay at the burrow with me. Mum would love to have you.” They nodded. The teens would turn out alright in the end course they would.

“What the heck Georgie?” George was in hysterics whilst Fred and Lee were giving him exasperated looks. Angelina was in tears beside him. 

“You set up all of the people in on the joke!?”

“YES!” He dissolved into giggles again. “You guys didn’t even realise!”

“Angie? Did you know?!” She couldn’t talk so just nodded. The entire group was in tears soon after the day really was eventful. Getting all those people together was worth detention with Umbridge.


End file.
